Biting Gold

appreciation its a word i would say i knew the meaning of had i ever truly felt it
wasting away as i slowly decay from these tears i cry that rain down my face
taking the place of that wholesome smile those faceless people would see once in a while
people who come and go take a piece squeezing my lungs so i can barely breath
suffocation of all that i want except knowledgeful love
i can handle these hardships says the man above
alone i walk no hearts beat in my wake
i hear them speak but my tired bones creak drowns out all that words make
to be valued at a price lower than i expect at a place of disrespect and no longer will accept
let me be evaluated by someone who sees my heart for all its parts and who drowns me in boundless affection
let me have ur enhancement appraisal cognizance
give me a drink of understanding omnicience
wet my lips with appreciative assistance
and pardon my actions that showed my resistance
cuz theres nothing more i want than meaningful existance
so appreciate my words and all that ive done
for in the end it is i who has won
all that love and care that i have delt
will come back around wen appreciation is felt
to wear your approval like a tight garter belt
id gladly adorn if appreciation was felt

mY LifE AspAraTioNs

To speak at a boys and girls club.
Send a care package every year.
Ride a mechanical bull
Break a Guiness world record
Visit Machu Picchu
Go to universal studios
Be an inspiration
do something noone else has
go to jamaica and feed a family
take a pottery class
learn to make candels
own an island
stay overnight at a spa
milk a cow
save someones life
mud wrestle at least once a year
get a key to a city
watch the sunrise on a beach
have a real picnic with a basket with a red and white checked cloth and people i love
be able to walk on my hands
sponsor a child
stay in the ice hotel
stay in an underwater hotel
have a bonafied reinforced fort in my house
fly in a helicopter
have a watermelon eating contest
sleep in a graveyard
take a pole dancing class

MEPS, a horrible nightmare i hope to forget.

Sooooo.....I joined the Marines.  After long days of thought and research I took the big step and contacted my recruiter.  He was suprised to hear from me because it had been I think about 3 months since we had last spoken.  Within a few weeks I had gotten back into the groove of things we filled out alot of paperwork and then finally the time came to go down to MEPS (military entrance processing station) MEPS IS HELL!!!!!!! MEPS is what bad people have to go though before they go to hell.  The night before you go you have to stay at a hotel so they can bus you and everyone else from your area whos going down at the same time. You wake up at 4:30 and leave around 5:00.  They take you to the federal building where you go through the metal detector and security screening and then you are taken to a room with alot of desks where they proceed to give you an hour long briefing on whats going to go on during the next 9-12 HOURS of processing.  They talk at you, talk to you, then talk at you some more. Then you go through an hour of preliminary medical paperwork.  Once you are done with the paper work the real fun begins.  They give you a breathalyzer and then hall you off to do the seeing and hearing tests. Then you go and wait for the blood and urine tests.  The blood test is usually done by a huge guy with little patience or care who jabs the needle in and then moves it around then they make you pee in a cup while they watch you.  Girls also get tested for pregnancy. Then you are told to wait.  You wait for about 10 minutes to 30 minutes after every little test.  After that you get some paperwork and you go to a room where they seperate the men from the females and you undress down to your underware.  Once you are in your underwear you do alot of silly little excercises and tests.  They check your arms and wrists your shoulder and your neck they check your ears and they check your legs and your toes, they way you walk they way you run and jump they make you duck walk (waddle) across the floor and then they take you into a seperate room and check you area down below.  (I wont discuss this part of MEPS its graphic and uncomfortable for readers and for the person writing it (me).  They then weigh and height you and they you are allowed to redress yourself and sit in shame with the other formerly naked people. Once that horribly embarassing part is over you wait.  Waiting is agonizing because after every test you are waiting for them to tell you whether or not you are still qualified! The people down at MEPS hold your future in their hands, at any point in time if they find one thing wrong or you fail one test, your dreams could be shattered forever.  But luckily for me I passed everything, not that i was suprised lol.  After a while you are handed back your paper work and they send you in for an interview with the head doctor.  The doctor asks you a list of questions that you have been asked most likely 30 times before at MEPS and then you are sent out in the lobby to do more waiting.  Once the medical area gives you the all clear you go talk to your military liason (mines was of course a Marine) and they go over your job decision with you.  I picked a legal and administrative job.  Once you pick you job you go through finger printing an FBI background check and some more questions then they send you to wait in a room to take your oath of enlistment. Where you are briefed on dont ask dont tell and fradulent enlistment and then comes the big step THE OATH.  They put you in a room where you stand at position of attention and wait for someone to come in and talk to you about your decision. afterwards you all raise your right hand and repeat the following:

I, (FULL NAME), do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.

then you put down your hand, go through some more finger printing and then you take a picture go talk to your liason and then alas do some more waiting.  The last step is to get your Pullup/Flexed arm hang numbers and your crunches.  Then you are presented with a shirt from your chosen branch and then allowed to go home. (home for me was the recruiters office because my mother was less than thrilled).  All in all MEPS was invasive nerve racking and strangely enjoyable.  Its a big step in becoming a service member and if you dont pass it you dont get in,  Although i was nervous the entire time it was gratifying to be able to raise my hand and repeat the Oath of Enlistment.  This was just the first step to becoming a United States Marine.