My boyfriends always tell me i am the best girlfriend they have ever had, i never cheat or do them wrong, im not bitchy or bossy....but thinks go awry. i dont get it.

Saw one of my exboyfriends today. He was still dating the girl he cheated on me with she had gained about 70 pounds and she was 9 months pregnant wearing house shoes a ratty tshirt and some sweat pants. I first noticed them when i heard a shouting match across from Avalon Exchange in the loop. He was calling her a B and she was calling him worthless.  He noticed me and quickly shuffled over to say hello.  After about 5 minutes and 10 tries to get away from him he asks if my number is still the same and says we should reconnect.  I laughed and said you made your bed huney now lay in it.  I got a text 20 minutes ago with him apologizing and saying he made a mistake. i accepted his apology. He said I should have given you the world instead of giving you away.  I smiled and thought to myself, thats what they all say.

theres never a good goodbye

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4E7dwSfPWUo&feature=relmfu

My ex's mother told me this and said it was a secret

Sometimes two people have to fall apart to realize how much they love each other. And then its up to fate and getting past frustration and feelings for them to fall back together.

On da real

I know exactly what i want from life.
I feel bad for those who don't.
Its a liberating feeling. No matter what happens, at the end of the day im the only person in control of me. I say what i want, feel what i want and do what i want. I will follow my heart to the ends of the earth, because it will never steer me wrong.

Reflections

You imagine yourself in the future and you find that person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you often rush because you want to start the rest of your life as soon as possible.

Nobody is perfect, someone once told me that my flaws made me beautiful, now i dont know if i can accept that anymore.

I may not ever be able to tell you how much you mean to me again, but just know that your happiness means more to me then it probably should.  I wanted to make you happy, but now i have to settle for the fact that its not my place anymore, so whatever brings you joy or whoever brings you joy i support it and wish you the best.

Sometimes you wait for people to just spring out of nowhere and say the perfect thing at the perfect time like in the movies.  The hardest part is waiting for it to happen.  I should probably stop waiting...should i?

So i can go back to bootcamp. this is a big decision. life is full of challenges and what defines what kind of person we are is how we handle them.

 God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.